its over

he called me last night. i asked him "what is Tiffany Ann Bishop to you?" and he sighed and said "I have been meaning to tell you...". he said he has always had feelings for his ex girlfriend. he had feelings for her when we were dating. he goes "so what i'm saying is..." "We're done." i finished the sentence for him. he said "kay."

then i told him that i had loved him and that it was hard for me to trust him cux everytime i trust someone i get hurt and he hurt me and he said "kay." i told him that i thought he wouldn't hurt me, and that he had said he would never hurt me, and he did anyway and he said "kay." i told him to never call me or contact me and that i never wanted to see him again and i never wanted to hear his name and he said "kay."

that was all he said. "kay." "kay." "kay."

and that was all i heard in my dreams last night.

4

HAPPY FORUTH OF JULY!!!!!!!!!! dont do fireworks in a field. or at least don't set it on fire DADDY!

cheater

John is cheating on me. and i am an idiot.

Letter to Uncle Jerry

i am so sorry Uncle Jerry. i had completley and totally forgotten what today was. how stupid am i? i should have called Lauren and told her i love her. i should have done the same for Auntie Connie.

we all miss you Uncle Jerry. truly. i will never forget that last dance recitle when you came to the front of the theater and danced with me. i will NEVER forget that.

i find myself thinking about you alot these days. i find myself praying for Lauren, your Fritz. i find myself wishing you could meet my friends, and the boy i love. but i know that you already know them. i know that you already watch over Lauren and Auntie Connie and Sarah and Me.

i miss you so much. but know that the tears i cry as i write this are not tears of sorrow. they are tears of happiness, for knowing you are at the side of His throne makes me happy.

all my love,
BUG

luck?

i wish i could spend more time with John than i really am. and we are always at my house on the computer listening to music and watching him play games on facebook (and stealing small kisses *_*). im not saying that that isn't fun, i just wish we could go on a DATE date, ya know? i am gonna have some money soon, so im gonna try for a movie date. wish me luck?

HE'S BAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!

JOHN IS BACK FROM CAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg i am sooooooooooo happy! we spent half the day yesterday together. i couldn't help but snuggle with him almost the entire time!

my boy is back. i am happy!

sadness upon sadness

John is at JROTC camp for five days. i didn't get to see him FOUR DAYS PRIOR HIS DEPARTURE!!!!!!!!!! i am SOOOOOOO depressed.

i woke up crying this morning, crying and saying his name.

is that too much too soon? cause i really do care for him.

happiness

i am sooooooooooooo happy! John (that boy i was talking to) asked me out so now we are dating! omg he makes me so happy!

there is a song i wanted to post a link for but its not letting me so just go to YouTube and type in Hoobastank- The Reason [with lyrics on screen+description] exactly like that and you will get it.

eeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppp i am so HAPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

OH! my psych test results came in and i went to go over them yesterday. i have Major Depression and Generalization Anxiety Disorder (GAD). it basically means that i am severly depressed and never NOT anxious about anything, therefore anxious about EVERYTHING. i am also slightly impulsive.

HAAAAAAPPPPPPPYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

this whole thing with John is so simple. its not complicated at all. i met him that night at Daikin and it was like something clicked. we got to talking and it was like i had known him all my life, and it made sense for us to date. its a good feeling, like........... love at first sight?

SCHOOL IS OUT/ Happy News/ Sad News

SCHOOL IS OUT BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLZ YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!

i am talking to someone. a boy. :) he is really sweet and nice and funny and charming and sensetive and shy but still outgoing and into some of the stuff i am into and *takes deep breath* i really like him. :)

my best friend left yesterday to move to Arizona. :,(

EXAM WEEK

exam week at school. four days of vigorous testing and then no school friday. i hate exam week. there is so much pressure, and then i still have slight drama with some friends. and im on my period, so ill be cramping while i test.

oh exam week, how i HATE you.

eh

so much crap, so little time. best friend is moving to Arizona. Meghan ran away again, and i am done worrying about THAT! i am just so ready for this nightmare they call school to be over.

messin with the ol'blog

i am having FUN with all the new blog stuff im finding, like fonts and stuff. yay!

songs

wrote a song tonight. my first original that i have ever performed. i was pretty proud of myself. and then sarah sang her new original Butterfly Pinned to the Wall.

she didn't mean to out do me. but she did. i sat there and heard the lyrics and thought, "those are the kind of lyrics i would write. why can't i? why can't i write songs?"

cuz i can't. at all. and whats the point when you are always over shadowed by your sister? she doesn't mean to, it just happens.....

she has been caught. she is home. she has called me. she is fine. but i am so tired of Meghan's crap. i still love her, cause she was my first best friend and i would be completley lost without her, but i am sick and tired of having to deal with her crap.

does that make me a bad friend?

LOBSTAH MODE & Mimi News

there was a block party for japan yesterday in the Fred's parking lot. the Austing JCC did a chibi table, where people got portraits of themselves done. i wore a tank top...... i am an IDIOT!!!!! i had been out there since 11, and i couldn't find anyone with some sunblock. about 45 minutes to an hour after i had been there, i found some spf 50 coppertone. used it. came back 30 minutes later. used it. then i had to help with the dunking booth, since i wasn't drawing. not a good idea. well, about 30 minutes before i left, i found some spf 85 coppertone. didn't help. i am now in Lobster Mode. i shiver on and off from pain. ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow ow....... NOTE TO SELF: LISTEN to mom when she says "Put on a T-shirt"!!!! we have had some news on Mimi (Meghan's nickname from me). she was still in Spokane as of Friday. she was seen at her friends' grandmother's house. the police are not activley looking for her since it is NOT illegal to run away in WA. i think they still should since she is a) a minor and b) has been missing for over 48 hours. please pray. sunburnt. ow. pain. ow. Ow. OOOOOWWWWWWIIIIIIIEEEEEEEE

pray

my best friend Meghan McBroom has run away from her home in Spokane, Washington. she was last seen yesterday at her house at three, when she left to go for a walk and never came back. please, i beg of you, pray for her, and that she is safe, and not lying dead in a ditch somewhere.

better

im better....... ish.

terrible, horrible, no good, very bad AFTERNOON!

i had horseback riding after school, and that was fine. then i went to books-a-million to see if there was a book i was looking for- answer is no. so i am standing in the Manga sections flipping through the first Foxy Lady book, and some jerk-wad come up behind me and touches my butt very lightly. i thought is was an accident and waited for him to pass by. then he pinched it, making me squeak. i truned and almost slapped him.
"Excuse me?!" i said, and he looked confused.
"What?" he asked.
"You know what!" i said, and he just grinned and left.
i don't know why, but i didn't report it. embarrassment, i guess.
then i was looking at their movies and i saw the concert version of Les Miserables and i got super excited! then i saw that it was 5 dollars more than i had: without tax. so i just bought Foxy Lady while i slowly got depressed.
then two wasps came out of frikin NOWHERE and dive-bombed me! i ran to the truck and had to climb in through the passanger seat and slam the door shut- ON MY FOOT - just to escape!
then another jerk-wad cut me off while i was driving home, and i had to slam on my brakes, so now i have whip-lash!
i want to cry.

crap

so much stuff lately. got a parking space at school. tried out for advanced drama and made it. ONLY GOOD STUFF!!!!!!!!

mom is on CHANTRIX, which is supposed to help her stop smoking. she is going through some MAJOR sideaffects right now. not her fault, its the medication.

my best friend is hiding some very important stuff from me, and i don't like it. i want to know if she is really sick, cuz then i could........ i honestly don't know what i could do. i could know, at least.

i am very lonely. not in the no frieds kinda way. in the single kinda way. not much i can do. i guess my being single is a good thing.

no crushes. not being crushed on. i have a headache.

birthdays

today is my cousin Cody's 10th BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!! Happy Birthday Cody Man.

I'll love you forever and like you for always. As long as I'm living my baby you'll be.