its over

he called me last night. i asked him "what is Tiffany Ann Bishop to you?" and he sighed and said "I have been meaning to tell you...". he said he has always had feelings for his ex girlfriend. he had feelings for her when we were dating. he goes "so what i'm saying is..." "We're done." i finished the sentence for him. he said "kay."

then i told him that i had loved him and that it was hard for me to trust him cux everytime i trust someone i get hurt and he hurt me and he said "kay." i told him that i thought he wouldn't hurt me, and that he had said he would never hurt me, and he did anyway and he said "kay." i told him to never call me or contact me and that i never wanted to see him again and i never wanted to hear his name and he said "kay."

that was all he said. "kay." "kay." "kay."

and that was all i heard in my dreams last night.

4

HAPPY FORUTH OF JULY!!!!!!!!!! dont do fireworks in a field. or at least don't set it on fire DADDY!

cheater

John is cheating on me. and i am an idiot.

Letter to Uncle Jerry

i am so sorry Uncle Jerry. i had completley and totally forgotten what today was. how stupid am i? i should have called Lauren and told her i love her. i should have done the same for Auntie Connie.

we all miss you Uncle Jerry. truly. i will never forget that last dance recitle when you came to the front of the theater and danced with me. i will NEVER forget that.

i find myself thinking about you alot these days. i find myself praying for Lauren, your Fritz. i find myself wishing you could meet my friends, and the boy i love. but i know that you already know them. i know that you already watch over Lauren and Auntie Connie and Sarah and Me.

i miss you so much. but know that the tears i cry as i write this are not tears of sorrow. they are tears of happiness, for knowing you are at the side of His throne makes me happy.

all my love,
BUG

luck?

i wish i could spend more time with John than i really am. and we are always at my house on the computer listening to music and watching him play games on facebook (and stealing small kisses *_*). im not saying that that isn't fun, i just wish we could go on a DATE date, ya know? i am gonna have some money soon, so im gonna try for a movie date. wish me luck?

HE'S BAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!

JOHN IS BACK FROM CAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg i am sooooooooooo happy! we spent half the day yesterday together. i couldn't help but snuggle with him almost the entire time!

my boy is back. i am happy!

sadness upon sadness

John is at JROTC camp for five days. i didn't get to see him FOUR DAYS PRIOR HIS DEPARTURE!!!!!!!!!! i am SOOOOOOO depressed.

i woke up crying this morning, crying and saying his name.

is that too much too soon? cause i really do care for him.