Letter to Uncle Jerry

i am so sorry Uncle Jerry. i had completley and totally forgotten what today was. how stupid am i? i should have called Lauren and told her i love her. i should have done the same for Auntie Connie.

we all miss you Uncle Jerry. truly. i will never forget that last dance recitle when you came to the front of the theater and danced with me. i will NEVER forget that.

i find myself thinking about you alot these days. i find myself praying for Lauren, your Fritz. i find myself wishing you could meet my friends, and the boy i love. but i know that you already know them. i know that you already watch over Lauren and Auntie Connie and Sarah and Me.

i miss you so much. but know that the tears i cry as i write this are not tears of sorrow. they are tears of happiness, for knowing you are at the side of His throne makes me happy.

all my love,
BUG

luck?

i wish i could spend more time with John than i really am. and we are always at my house on the computer listening to music and watching him play games on facebook (and stealing small kisses *_*). im not saying that that isn't fun, i just wish we could go on a DATE date, ya know? i am gonna have some money soon, so im gonna try for a movie date. wish me luck?

HE'S BAAAAAAAACCCCCCKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!

JOHN IS BACK FROM CAMP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! omg i am sooooooooooo happy! we spent half the day yesterday together. i couldn't help but snuggle with him almost the entire time!

my boy is back. i am happy!

sadness upon sadness

John is at JROTC camp for five days. i didn't get to see him FOUR DAYS PRIOR HIS DEPARTURE!!!!!!!!!! i am SOOOOOOO depressed.

i woke up crying this morning, crying and saying his name.

is that too much too soon? cause i really do care for him.

happiness

i am sooooooooooooo happy! John (that boy i was talking to) asked me out so now we are dating! omg he makes me so happy!

there is a song i wanted to post a link for but its not letting me so just go to YouTube and type in Hoobastank- The Reason [with lyrics on screen+description] exactly like that and you will get it.

eeeeeeeeeeeeepppppppp i am so HAPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!

OH! my psych test results came in and i went to go over them yesterday. i have Major Depression and Generalization Anxiety Disorder (GAD). it basically means that i am severly depressed and never NOT anxious about anything, therefore anxious about EVERYTHING. i am also slightly impulsive.

HAAAAAAPPPPPPPYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!

this whole thing with John is so simple. its not complicated at all. i met him that night at Daikin and it was like something clicked. we got to talking and it was like i had known him all my life, and it made sense for us to date. its a good feeling, like........... love at first sight?