getting help........ hopefully

i have a problem. i don't know what it is, but it is a problem. actually i have two problems. my other problem is about people writing off my first problem as being a teenager.

ok, that was confusing. my problem is that i am having drastic mood swings, depression, anxiety, eratic sleep behavior, so on and so forth. my second problem was stated above; that people are writing it off as hormones or being a teen. well, im tired.

im tired of people doing that! saying, "it's part of being a teen. you'll grow out of it. it's just hormones." IT'S NOT! i have never in my LIFE felt this way. i have never just wanted to leave my home, and my family, and never look back. i have never wanted to physically injure my sister or my parents to the extent of crippling them. i have never been a jerk for no reason, or yelled at my best friend for no reason. it scares me, and i want help. but i don't think i can get it at home.

after the new year we are calling dr. marques and getting the number of a psychologist. mom thinks that talking to someone i don't know might help, since writing out my feelings only makes them worse.

i want to be able to talk to my friends, but they write it off as being a teen. well, i know many young adults who have never gone through this before.

i don't want to be depressed, but i am. i don't want to have a problem trusting people, but i do. i don't want to want to break my sisters arm, or slap my mom, and kick my dad in the gut, but i do.

and yeah, lots of teens feel this way. but it is normal for them, and it is NOT normal for me.

i just wish that people would realize that and stop saying it is my age.