meltdown @ the Weeks'

so this morning the internet was shut off. mom spent more than an hour on and off the phone trying to sort it out. it was because of some unknown bill from at&t or something like that. mom has been in a sour mood the rest of the day, and i have been really anti-social. i get like that when i am worried. so mom had a small meltdown, and i guess i did too, in a sort of way.

i can't help but be worried. i mean, what is next? the car? the house? the electricity? the water? it sucks to have to constantly worry about bills at home AND my grades at school. we ended exam week @ school yesterday. but all during exams, and through out regular school, my mind always finds its way to the house, bills, worrying about dad, worrying about mama sue, worrying about mom, worrying about not finding a job, and how much money my parents spend on me. they want to get me a laptop for Christmas! i mean, i want one, but that is just too much right now.

that is why i want a job. ANY job will do! i don't like feeling like a burden to my parents. i want a truck when i turn 16. that isn't going to happen, but my dad is still looking! if my parents get me a laptop, i might slap them in the face! i mean, i will be totally grateful, but how much will it cost? how much will it put them out? i feel bad asking for new clothes now, even though i need them. i hate feeling like a burden. i hate feeling helpless. i hate havign to go around worrying about adult stuff.

what do i do?